The Hope in Our Stars TFIOS fanfic
by Abnegation is Dauntless
Summary: Hazel Grace expects Augustus Waters to die. It is not as cruel as it sounds, though. What she means is that she know Gus will, against her wishes, die. Hazel finds hope in what little time was left of her life due to cancer. In the scarred universe.


Hello, if you're reading this, thank you so much. You don't know how much time I put into writing just this chapter. There will be many references to the story by the awesome John Green. So although I spent much time writing this chapter, it stills needs help. The story is planned already, just so you know. Feel free to leave comments and vote, although I will thank you for them. No hate please...

Enjoy! All chapters in Hazel's POV.

Read, comment, enjoy. Ily

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However much I would like to say that Augustus Waters found courage and motivation to battle his cancer. However much I would like to say his health improved, and he got better and better, I can't. I can't say it like I can't guarantee that I would not die. I just can't. I would like to say so much more about Augustus Waters, but I'm afraid that lies would not make anyone feel better. The truth hurt, but lies were no won't help anyone. Anymore.

After his prefuneral which he insisted on organising (and attending), his health did nothing but deteriorate faster. And faster. Faster than a roller coaster zooming down. He was on one going up. Not just to the clouds, but beyond. He was en route to heaven. Away from Earth. Away from me. From us. Me and his family. Sometimes, I wished that his roller coaster would have bumps like all other roller coasters, which would eventually slow down and stop on ground, but Augustus' health was the complete opposite of the roller coaster I had wished for. It's a one-way journey. And I can't find a way on. "The world is not a wish granting factory."

Every day, Gus' roller coaster would speed up, and he would take another step towards heaven. If there ever was one, what do dead people do in heaven anyway, laze around and watch over people, deciding on whose life they would take? Gus would just go away, fading into nothingness. Or something for nothing, which means he's nothing anyway?

Until now, he was still on the sofa in his house's living room, with his G-tube inserted but no longer infected. Feeding him with things that would keep him alive longer. Longer for his cancer, which was made of him, to destroy his body, which is him. Keeping him alive was keeping his cancer alive, causing him to slowly waste away. But I wouldn't trade this time for anything, except maybe, his health.

I wondered what Augustus Waters would say, assuming he was well and alive and looking at another body which was not his. He is eaten by cancer? Cancer is eating him alive? I wish he was still alive now and we're looking at another body but hey, wishes don't come true. They only happen in fairy tales.

Right now I was in bed, reading and rereading An Imperial Affliction, thinking back to the trip in Amsterdam. Then wondering how Peter Van Houten, who, in real life, was such a, how should I put it, selfish person, managed to make people like his book. Thinking about An Imperial Affliction, I remembered Augustus promising me that he would write me an epilogue. But he can't write anymore, can he?

Then, I received the call. The call that changed my life forever. Technically it can't, seeing that no one lives forever. Doing just that is defying god and going against nature. But you know what I mean, or do you not? Augustus Waters' mom called me while I was reading An Imperial Affliction. Even before picking up the phone, if known that Augustus Waters was going. Although where he was going remains unknown. I had been told by his father, earlier that day, and was warned that Gus could be going today. And I tried preparing myself to acknowledge Gus' death. But still, when I grabbed my phone from the bedside table and saw his mom's name on the caller ID, everything inside of me collapsed.

Even before I put the phone to my ear, I started crying. Tears made rivulets down my cheeks. However, Gus' mom wasn't crying on the other end of the line like I had expected. Instead her voice was one of hope than of sorrow and grief.

"Come here Hazel Grace. There is hope."

Confused for a few seconds, I stared at nothing in particular with my mouth slightly open. Then, it clicked. Gus' mom hung up right after confirming what I had thought and my tears instantly turned to those of hope and joy.

My parents came in then, looking expectant, but shocked by the smile on my face. I shook my head at them. They relaxed a little. I called Isaac, of course assuming that Gus' mom hadn't called him already. Isaac, being Isaac, cheered, and what little I heard from his cheering included God, Thanks and World. I hung up , leaving Isaac to his celebration in darkness.

I looked at my parents who were looking at me with questioning eyes, asking the unspoken question. What?

"They're trying new treatment on Gus."


End file.
